Going back to my home for a month-long summer holidays.
I can understand everyone likes to be at home if they are staying outside for a long time…but I can’t be that happy…..I really don’t know why. I must be out of normals.
Or probably I know why I am not keen to go home.
Its only 1 year I got married and can’t even stay with my hubby as I work outside my state and he is at our home. It’s already hard for me to deal with the marriage as I was not ready for it and was pressurised to get married last year. My in-laws and parents and everybody is very happy with our marriage and it feels great to make others happy. But at the day’s end when I am alone in my single room flat I feel betrayed…..I cant be with someone because I am already bound to someone and really love him and can’t be with the one in my life because he is far apart. To add to this when I am on leave to enjoy my family days what I actually do is …trying hard to catch up the loose ends of my relationship threads with in-laws and cant spend time alone with him as it looks odd to them. I cant be in bliss…always have to be in competition with other perfect bahus like Parvati, Tulsi, Priya etc. of Indian television serials.
But this is only a half of my sticky situation…..
Now I am one year old as bahu and fairly good in my role…..I should give them a grandchild…wow…so perfect…. moderate demand.
Why? Why? Why are you doing this to me? I barely enjoyed my teenlife because I had to study hard to please you (my family members), I could not enjoy my college life to get a job with fat pay cheque….I was not allowed to enjoy my hard earned money on me (I am not complaining that I have some family responsibilities I am glad and honoured to take that) because it could lead me to a luxorious life of sin. Then I was shunned of my freedom by getting married which also I can’t enjoy because I am in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR). What I wanted then….just a year to live on my own before getting married……everything could fall in place then….but …..nah…my life is never my choice….it should be according to you. So I must give you a grandchild if possible two in next three years…so considerate.
Why one has to be a mother as soon as possible after marriage? Is it the only purpose of getting married (though I really don’t get any purpose of marriage)? How hypocrites you are. You taught us “sex” is a bad thing in our curious age and now forcing me to do it so that I can produce a baby…yack….I detaste the thought. What is to be honoured in being pregnant…apart from that the girl is f*cked by a man? Science already proved mother instinct is quiet a myth (remember the monkey experiment? Where a mother monkey was saving her child from drowning but only till then she was safe…when it came to her life she dropped the idea of saving her child and lost to her basic instinct …..struggle for existence). So why one has to be a mother…at least in India we are already blessed with so many people around us that we don’t need any. No I am not telling you to drop the idea of getting a baby…if you wish you must and I wish you all the luck…but my point is if you wish and not if others demand.
I don’t want to be a mother at least not now. If you need a grandchild I am surely going to give you but only by adopting. Yes I am pretty much serious this time…you ruined my dreams….i am not going to let you interfer with my baby. A note my husband is with me this time.